Tea-time story

Before the advent of Coca Cola, tea was almost the number one soft (hot) drink in the world. It didn't need companies to sell it or corporations to dominate it. You just boiled the tealeaves, added some sugar, perhaps lit up a cigarette and you conversed with the gods.

The Chinese or the Indians invented tea probably as a potion. Maybe it was somehow associated with the other world. In days of old, if something tasted good, that unique flavor was attributed to the divinity. Wine was for example the nectar of the gods. People believed it gave the one who drank these concoctions power, equivalent to that possessed by the deity. 

The English invented the five o'clock tea for reasons known only to their aristocrats or maybe to their businessmen. They drank their ritualized afternoon tea come rain or come shine. Did they do it during their so many battles? Who knows?

It all started when one day they occupied India. They found a lot of tea in that country. So they said to themselves: How can we sell it to those bloody Arabs out there who drink only coffee!" So they set sail north to the Arab lands.

" Good morning Ali? Have you tasted this new magic potion yet?"

"What is it Mr. Ingliz?

" It is called tea, and it is good for your physical and spiritual health."

" Walahi I will buy it if that is the case."

So Mr. Smith sails back to India, comes back with ships laden with crushed black leaves and sells his merchandize at a profit and eventually Ali tosses his jebena (teapot) out the window and starts to enjoy his shai. And the Arabs being good at calligraphy, Ali invents new styles of pouring tea into his small glass. He holds the teapot one meter above ground and pours, and while he pours he moves the teapot slowly, up and down. It is music to the eye. 

Mr. Smith is a very shrewd dealer. He deserved to be knighted by Her Majesty, for he did not forget to bring along karfa (cinnamon) and kinifer (clove) along with him. Ali becomes very happy. And Mr. Smith gets to be very very rich and begins to think of colonizing Arabia Felix one day as he sips his tea way up north in his office in London. 

Tea is a nice beverage. It opens up the mind, and makes you think about a lot of things. Including colonial schemes. But it also destroys colonies. Remember the Boston tea party? If it were not for those boxes of tea, we wouldn't have USA at present.

Before the advent of the Italians, we Eritreans knew nothing about tea. Our grandmothers drank only coffee without sugar. But gradually, with the opening of the country to foreigners, we began to get the kick out of sweetened tea. The countrymen followed suit. Teashops flung their doors open. Tea drinking became a national pastime. And now if any Eritrean is suffering from gastritis or diabetes or even bad tooth, it is the fault of our over-boiled and over-sweetened shahi. 

But, many expatriates (except Arabs and Indians) are repulsed by our tea. Said one European friend of mine: "Is it tea or syrup?" He should have seen Sudanese tea. It looks like glue.

He was right. A lot of Eritreans don't know how to prepare tea. They tend to boil the hell out of the tealeaves first and sweeten it enough to deaden the taste buds. 

" I can't drink this," said an Italian friend of mine in a bar. "Too much sugar."

One of the reasons why Eritreans drink over-sweetened tea is perhaps because that is our only source of sugar or glucose. The ferengi (Europeans) can satisfy their sweet tooth by eating piles of sweetmeat and jelly. 

As I said above, tea opens the mind and brings old memories of days past. If you visit the teashops of Baghdad you will meet the storyteller sitting in the corner. He is an old man who has 1001 Arabian-nights-type stories in his repertoire. So he tells tall stories and people pay for his tea. 

In Asmara in the 1960s people sat in teashops to chat. But there were those who excelled in recounting interesting tales (mostly invented) and the teashop owner liked them. They attracted customers, and he sold a thousand and one glasses of tea per day. 

I remember one in particular who frequented a certain teashop for a purpose. His name was Yohannes. He wrote love letters for money or a cup of tea. 

" I have a crush on this out-of-sight girl, her name is Eden, please help me to write her a very beautiful poem."

" No problem. How does she look like? Is she tall, slim, plump, fair complexioned, long hair, shapely….?"

" She is everything to me."

" Okay. Eden, Eden I take my pen/to write you now and then/your eyes are like gold/a pearl to be sold [silly, isn't it?]…."

When we were kids, we ate kitcha (unleavened bread) with tea before leaving for school. The Hebrews ate it once a year, we ate it all our lives. If you broke the tea filled glass you were not served again. You cried your eyes out and nobody came to your rescue. 

Guests were given tea without prior notice. Every stranger who dropped by was entitled to a glass of tea. What remained in the pot after the guest left was shared among the kids in the absence of the mother. 

But tea comes in various flavors: minted, with lemon, spiced, mixed with milk, etc. The Indians like it with milk, Eritreans with lemon, Americans cold, Sudanese black and gluey.

Once in Europe on my way to a very urgent appointment I walked into a bar and asked for tea:

"Hot or cold?"
"Hot."
" Flavored or without."
" Flavored."
" What type of flavor?"
" Forget it!" And I blasted off to my appointment. 

It was when I first visited France that I came to learn that some Frenchmen didn't have the faintest idea of what tea was. They drank coffee in the morning, after lunch and before going to bed. They got up at night to fix tea to kick away their insomnia. 

My first day in France. Un té, s'il vous plait ( tea please). I didn't have money for Coke. I look at the bill. What!? Ten francs for tea and only four franks for soft drinks! I should be careful next time. 

The next time, I began to preach the virtues of tea as compared to coffee. If you have a heart condition, take tea, it will do you good. Coffee is bad for the heart and dehydrates the body. But the French did not want to listen. 

Maybe the French thought at first that it was an Anglo-Saxon ploy designed a hundred years back to make them buy English tea. These two nations have ever since their creation held contradicting views about the world ranging from perfumes to foreign policies. 

Society & Culture No.5 

 

Before the advent of the Italians, we Eritreans knew nothing about tea. Our grandmothers drank only coffee without sugar. But gradually, with the opening of the country to foreigners, we began to get the kick out of sweetened tea. The countrymen followed suit. Teashops flung their doors open. Tea drinking became a national pastime. And now if any Eritrean is suffering from gastritis or diabetes or even bad tooth, it is the fault of our over-boiled and over-sweetened shahi. .